Monday, September 30, 2013

Fall into fall!

"Autumn..the year's last, loveliest smile."
    William Cullen Bryant

     I love summer, I always have. Summer to me is the very best season, it is pools and cook outs and the feel of warmth on your skin. I grew up in Arizona so the change of seasons wasn't as defined a change as it is in Ohio. When we moved here it took me a while to really enjoy the seasons but now I realize the change of seasons are so very important.
     My summer this year was a busy one because I was blessed to be home all summer with the birth of my second child. This was the summer my two year old smelled of sun screen and that smell became my favorite scent. I marveled at how the sun was giving her natural highlights and how cute she looked wearing her floaties. I learned to push a double stroller, play on a slide, swing a swing and snuggle a newborn, at the same time.
     
    This summer I learned more about myself as a mommy and I learned more about my mommy friends. I played in the pool and had play dates at the park. I spent time with friends who renewed my strength and shared funny stories. I got to spend hours with my mom, just talking. We had more honest conversations than we have ever had and I enjoyed every single one. By becoming a mother for the second time I have learned and understood more about my mom than ever before. I do not know how I would have made it through those first few weeks without her strength.
    
The change is more poignant this year than ever because it is more than the air getting cooler and the leaves changing color. It was me moving my daughter's clothes from the months to the T's. Packing away the newborn stuff and bringing out the slightly bigger clothes for my baby. The first time I packed away my newborn clothes I knew in my heart that I would unpack them again. This time I carefully folded each piece and took a minute to hold and smell my favorites, this would be the last time I unfolded those outfits in anticipation of bringing home a new baby.
    With the birth of our second daughter I watched my Abby become a big sister and with this she gained independence from her mommy. My heart swells at the sound of her talking to her sister and then breaks when I realize that she is all of a sudden saying and doing more things and I can’t always pinpoint when the change happened. It’s in these moments I wish time would freeze so I wouldn't miss anymore little changes.
           
     For my friends this fall had different meanings. I saw one friend put her daughter on the bus for her very first day of kindergarten.  She picked out clothes and a back pack, bought stuff for lunches and school supplies. The girls and I walked to the bus stop that first day to cheer on our sweet neighbor and to be supportive to her mommy.  I have known this particular little girl almost all of her life so watching her hitch up her back pack and climb onto the bus was hard. When the bus pulled away and her mommy started crying it hit me that soon, this would be me.  A few more changes of season and I will be walking my first baby to the bus stop and I will feel the same emotion that I witnessed in my friend.

This time I want to watch the leaves change instead of being surprised by the turn in color, I want to pick pumpkins and go to festivals. I want to embrace the fall and realize that summer was one of my most memorable seasons but it was also one of my hardest. I want a million more days like the one we had this weekend.  This weekend time moved at a good pace and the most important thing we had to do was watch our 2 year old play in the hay and walk in a corn maze. I snapped 100 pictures that day but the moments I didn't catch on film will always be with me. When we put the girls to bed that day my husband and I said the same thing, it was a good fall day!


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