Wednesday, October 9, 2013

What about me?

(24/7) Once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer                      -Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper


I have been  feeling a little overwhelmed lately and very tired. I used to be more organized and now I feel like I just throw all the balls in the air and then run for cover. I am a mess!                                                                    
Me time is a thing of the past and when it goes it is very subtle, hardly noticeable. Until the moment comes when you are Mommy exhausted. There is normal exhausted and then there is Mommy exhausted. They are not the same thing and any mom knows exactly what kind of tired I am talking about. The kind where you bump into stuff, forget important things and no matter what, you just can't seem to get it together.


By talking with some friends lately I have discovered that I am not alone. Stay at home moms or working moms, it doesn't matter. When you hit that wall of exhaustion we all feel the same.  Here is just a sample of the things I have heard in the last month from my friends.

During lunch with one of my girlfriends who is a stay at home mommy and has a little girl about to turn 1.  We were discussing sleep training and how frustrating this could be. Her daughter was going thru a rough patch and she was feeling a little tired.  When her husband brought in the baby because she was crying and he didn't know what to do, my friend got a little fired up and stated.

-I just wanted to lay here for a few moments and not have anyone bother me!

I was laughing when she was telling me this because who hasn't been there and just needed a solid 5 minutes to regroup. This is a friend who is refreshingly honest and our  friendship has been such a blessing in my life

Another friend who is funny and bright and her little girl at almost 2 years old is just as funny and bright. On a day where work was nuts and she was worrying about birthday plans this is what she said to me;

       -Sometimes, I just want to lay on the couch in my underwear, in the dark for 3 days and watch a lifetime movie based on a Nora Roberts novel..and not have anyone touch me. Is that bad?
When I was still on maternity leave and my sweet baby was having some pretty serious crying spells. There was a day in particular that I was feeling down. I was trying not to cry and just smile past exhaustion. My nerves were frazzled and I was telling my friend that I felt like a failure because I was having such a hard time.  After listening to me she said.

-          Sometimes, I feel like I am standing with my hand in the air, asking. “What about me?”

 Just the way she was listening to me and then telling me what she felt gave me comfort. Comfort to know that someone else has felt the same way and that these stages don't last forever. 

This week, I am working and trying to keep it together. There are days that are great and days where I sit at work wondering if I put eye liner on both eyes and if I managed to shave both of my underarms. There are actual days where I have missed an eye and an underarm. Yesterday I was so tired that I didn't change my shirt after the baby puked on me. I just wiped it off with a baby wipe and went to work.

My friends are wonderful and kind and if they are ever in a room asking.."What about me?"  I hope they know they aren't the only one and that somewhere there are other mommies with their hand up, asking the same thing.  Maybe, even more mommies dreaming of laying around in the dark, in their underwear, watching some lifetime television.


No comments:

Post a Comment