Thursday, March 20, 2014
The 7 year expiration
I once read that friendships have an expiration period of 7 years. When I first heard this I was in my early twenties and living life to the fullest. I couldn't possibly imagine that one of my friends wouldn't forever be in my life. It did happen, my bar friends drifted away. I changed jobs and those people drifted as well. The expiration makes more sense as I get older but there was a friendship that I never would have imagined would expire. 2 years and nine months ago a friendship that I held so dear to me took a hit. Where usually the two of us were a well oiled friend machine and were always there for each other it seemed our lives took a different turn and didn't match up. The friction caused a fracture in our core and we haven't spoken in all that time.
Ever since the fracture I keep thinking about the 7 year expiration and wonder if the tear in our friendship was a cause of the phenomenon or if maybe like most breaks it just needs time to heal. I actually think of this person so often and miss her friendship dearly. There are times when its a fleeting thought but lately I have been almost tripping over signs. I don't know what the signs mean but the more I ignore them the more obvious it gets.
In a matter of a month I have found cards from my friend that I haven't seen in years and didn't even know I still had, I have seen some of our favorite movies play back to back on television. Have heard our favorite songs one after the other on the radio. Okay, maybe the TV thing can be excused because TBS and TNT do play movies over and over and it isn't hard to find a favorite. Maybe you catch your radio on play the eighties and nineties weekend and that could be explained away as well. When these all occur in the same weekend it could be the universe telling you something.
A couple of weeks ago when my thoughts for my missing friend were at the highest, my sweet two year old daughter walked up to me wearing a bracelet that my friend had made for my wedding day. On my handmade bracelet was attached a ball locket that contained a poem from my friend. In that moment, I leaned and hugged my daughter and told her the story of mommies friend and said that mommy missed her much and how much she would have loved my sweet girl. I had not seen that bracelet since I put it away with my other wedding jewelry and when I put the box away again I took a moment to say a prayer for my friend. I hope she is happy and safe and that once in a while she thinks of me too..
I wonder if when The Sweetest Thing is on televsion and our favorite scene from the restaurant is playing if she laughs like we used too. If she still watches Napoleon dynamite even for a few minutes and remembers..
Those are the funny things that most people have in friendships. I just really wonder if she misses me and misses that she has never met my wonderful daughters. The very best part of my life. Will time heal all wounds or will it put too much water under the bridge and make it impossible to cross? Only time will tell..
Here is the article on the 7 year expiration
The 7 year expiration