Friday, June 27, 2014

What does she do all day? - Staying at home!


  There are so many ideas out there about what being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) really entails.  Yes I am a SAHM.  I have also been a full-time working mom as well.  So I have lived both lives!  I am not going to say one is better than the other because they both have their pros and cons.  I also will not say one is easier than the other because they are both difficult in different ways!  Either way we are all just moms trying to do the best that we can!

I do find it very entertaining though when I hear or read the mind sets of people when they think about SAHM's.  I even threw it out to my Facebook friends to see what their experiences have been.  It was all pretty universal!  It truly cracks me up the things people believe to be true!  Here are some awesome examples!!

1)  What do you do all day?!?  You must have sooo much free time!!
Hahahahaha....uhhh NO!  My free time is at night once everyone is asleep.  I am at this point ready to snuggle in my bed and enjoy me some TV greatness (Tru TV and quite possibly my main man Jimmy Fallon)!!  I fall asleep and of course miss the best parts of the shows!  The TV is still on and I am zonked before my husband even walks into our bedroom!!  And what do I do all day?!?  What don't I do is the better question!!  My kids range in age from 10-2 years old!  So I have all of the school age activities and drama that comes with 2 girls who are 10 and 7!  I then have a 2 year old boy thrown in there who's main source of entertainment is scaring the crap out of me and giving me mild heart attacks all day long because he has absolutely no fear of anything!!  He also has to come along with me to everything of the girls!  Anyone with kids knows how fun it is to take a 2 year old to such things as basketball games, dance rehearsals, school plays, or just about anywhere you would pay heavily just to have them sit still and be quiet!  Which we all know doesn't happen!!




Then comes summer break!!  Break? Haha!  That's a joke right?!?  When you live in a neighborhood like mine with about a million kids...your summer break consists of 20 kids running in and out of your house ALL DAY LONG!!  And not just running, but yelling, and stomping, eating all of your food, asking for sleepovers, and just about anything else you can think of!  To add to the fun...my husband has a home office!  Now granted...he does travel a lot (which means I also do this all by myself most of the time)!  When he is home this is pretty much how my day goes..."SHHHHH!!  Daddy is on a conference call!  Go outside and play!  I mean it, stay outside!  Go enjoy your childhood...OUTSIDE!!  Come in only to use the bathroom!  Quiet your brother is sleeping!!  Another snack??  SHHHH!!  Well I think you get the point!!

2)  SAHM's get to take naps!!  
Again...Hahahahaha!!  I think in all of my 10 years of being a mom I have taken 2 naps!!  Now obviously my 10 and 7 year olds don't take naps, but my 2 year old does.  Sooo what do I do when he's napping you ask?  Well I am cleaning, doing laundry, figuring out meals, refereeing my other children, and so forth and so on!!  Yes I do get on my phone and scroll around FB too!  Ok and maybe Pinterest too!!  That is my about my only entertainment people!!




  
3)  SAHM's don't actually "work"! 
I won't even entertain this!  Everyone knows we work!  We work hard!  We work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with no vacations, and very little breaks!  Even family vacations...Ha!  Again anyone with kids knows that a vacation with kids is NO vacation for parents!  But that's it's own blog in itself!!  If you or anyone you know actually believe SAHM"s don't work...please don't ever say it to any of us!!  We will literally want to drop kick you with every last bit of energy we may have left in our exhausted little bodies!! 

I will tell you one thing being a SAHM has done for me! I am the master of time management now!! I can literally get myself showered, dressed, hair and make-up done...all 3 kids showered, dressed, hair done, shoes on and bags packed...all in the time my husband takes to finish up his shower!! I don't know how it's possible to be that slow...but my husband wins the prize!!


So to sum it all up...Yes I absolutely love being a SAHM!  I have amazing memories I will always hold dear to my heart!  Yes I sometimes miss working outside of the home.  There is something to be said for adult interaction and a sense of self that is separate from the role of "Mom".  No I wouldn't change being home with my kids these past almost 5 years!!  It's been a roller coaster ride for sure!!  Scary and crazy at times, but at the end you always hear yourself saying..."Let's do that again"!!



Kathy has previously hosted at Happily Ever Rushed and you can read the amazing story of her daughter Brooklyn and the very first reason that brought her home.

Thank you to my wonderful friends who stay at home and do all the millions of things that mommies do every day. I love that you all took time out of your busy schedules to share your thoughts on staying at home. Four different views from four amazing mothers. 

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Friday, June 20, 2014

Adjustments as a stay at home mom-

Happy Friday everyone! I am Bria from Wiggle Life and while I have been a guest blogger for Stephanie before, I just want to thank her again for having me and invite you all over to my blog to say "hi!"

For me the pros of staying at home (time!) were easily outweighed by the cons, so I thought I would take this opportunity to write about what the biggest adjustments were when I went from working full-time to staying home full-time. 


Perceived disparity between my husband and I - This was completely on my end but I went from working a full time job and earning an income for my work to staying at home with an infant who honestly, didn't really seem to do much but sleep.  I felt a constant need to justify what I did "Look laundry! Look dinner is made!"  Since he became the sole provider, it suddenly felt like he was "paying me" so to speak.  Focusing so much on my lack of income and trying to "make up for it" by doing stuff around the house took my focus off of what I should have been doing and what he asked me to do - soak up time with our daughter.  This was never coming from him but it was still something I had to work through on my end. 

My identity - I didn't realize how much I justified my self-worth and identity with my job until I quit it.  I graduated from college in 2009, a year when due to the recession just 20% of my class would find full-time employment after graduating.  I was very proud of the fact that I was able to secure a job and leaving it to "just" stay at home was a bit of a blow to my ego.  I had to work through what I truly valued in myself and rebuild my identity outside of a job.  Again, I was working through adjusting to not having an income and not feeling equal to my spouse.

Relating to my infant - I remember having this panic feeling of getting my infant to "learn things" and "play."  While of course an enriching, learning centered environment is important, I realize now I was putting the pressure I felt to perform on my infant.  Having a toddler, I realize, trust me, they learn more than we think - even without us shoving it down their throat 24/7.  I wish I would have been more relaxed when she was younger and not worrying about every second.


It's been just over 20 months since I quit full time employment to stay at home with my little.  When we originally decided that I would stay at home it was so our baby would receive what we felt was the best benefits which entailed being with a parent all day, but now I realize the benefits are there for me too.  Not only do I receive the obvious benefits of witnessing my daughters life during most of her waking hours but it created obvious growth in me as well.  Staying at home has forced me to work through identity issues, anxiety and has made me what I view as a more relaxed, happier person.



I would love to know how other people adjusted to either staying at home or going back to work - and if you all agree, disagree with anything?  Don't forget to stop by and say "hi" sometime!

Bria



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