Wednesday, March 18, 2015
It was almost like any other day.
It was almost like any other day. I was up early because the 3 year old was coughing with yet another cold from school. The coughing woke the baby and the morning started 30 minutes earlier than normal. I usually try to greet my morning and my babies with a smile and a loving start to the day, but it wasn't any other day. I woke up this morning with the feeling of sluggish dread. I was dreading work and the busy that comes with each day. I wanted to stay home with my daughters and take care of my sick 3 year old and silly 1 year old.
I just didn't have the gumption that was needed to get everyone dressed, hair and teeth brushed, diaper bag packed for them and lunch for me. I barely noticed my husband leaving for work or that the minutes were ticking by and I would be rushing out the door, again.
Today we went to Grandma's in our pajamas because my daughter wanted to have a pajama party and didn't feel like getting dressed. I let them because I felt the same way today.
Its nice to know that the three of us were on the same page.
I struggled to get all of the stuff in the car, get everyone tucked into grandma's, get back out the door, back on the road and into work. I pulled up to work with the feeling that I had already had an entire day of activity and my day was just about to start.
My lunch hour was an hour late, I was starving and starting to get a headache. I was stuck between feeling like it was only 2:00 o'clock and feeling like it was already 2:00 o'clock.
It sounds like any other day, except for today when I felt the crushing need for open space and actual free time. When being in traffic felt like the only break I would get for the day. I am in need of a deep breath that calms my worries. My husband asks why I am so quiet but I have no way to explain this feeling. My plate is full, my mind is restless, my heart is worried and my list is long.
And so 5:00 pm comes and I fly out the door from work, drop off boxes to a friend and race home. Its usually the dinner rush, play time, jammies back on and the bed time routine. Its my busiest but favorite time of the day.
I mustered up the energy to get through traffic and finally into the garage. I opened our door, ready to jump into the end of the day. Instead, I hear silence and peak around the corner. There they were, my two beautiful girls happily eating dinner on a tray, watching Monsters University.
Smiling faces covered in Nutella with a bit of Dorito dust on their sweet cheeks. It was what I needed, my deep breath, my break from the day. Their simple happiness that I was home. That was all they wanted and the thing I forgot I needed. I didn't even mind that daddy served Nutella sandwiches and Doritos.
I watched with them while they ate and afterword when things were winding toward bedtime, my one year old climbed up onto my lap with a book. I love when she comes walking with her book choice, climbs up and gets comfy with her mommy.
It ended like any other day. Me knowing that I am lucky and loved and could take a deep breath and enjoy a good book!