Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Down the path but not alone.

        It seems lately that I have been wrapped in in all the mundane things in life. The minutiae of the every day. I have been thinking of a way to slow things down and stop feeling like I am standing alone and watching my life speed by. There are always moments that make you stop and stand still and remember the things that matter. Work was stressful, my three year old was sick, winter was long and a hundred other things that were on my list for the week.

       My mom is everything that holds our family together and as a grandmother she deserves a medal. My mom is amazing and a strong woman and she has taught me so many things that I have only started to notice as I became a mother. And so when she called to tell me she found a lump in her breast and needed to get tests, my speeding world slowed down. My mom had already survived Breast cancer and melanoma so I knew she was a fighter and I found comfort in the fact that it had been so long since her first battle. What was the chance that it would be cancer again? We waited for the tests and I was more and more assured that it was just an ordinary lump and she could get it cut out and we could move on. Move back to the space where my mom was safe and borrowed time wasn't a phrase in my everyday vocabulary.
       Instead of a lump that could be cut out and a family that could move on, we had our worst fears realized.  "The doctor called and its breast cancer." I couldn't breath. I am a wife and a mommy and in that moment I only felt like a scared little girl. I am scared for my mom and my family and for the road that my mom must travel again. She has been down the path of breast cancer and she will do it again. We are still waiting on results that will tell us the stage, prognosis and if the cancer has traveled to other places in her body. Sometimes the lessons that life teaches you can be unfair but I know that I am going to stop standing alone and watching my life pass me by. I made a promise to myself that I will not regret anymore moments or ever again refer to the everyday moments in my life as mundane. This is too important, my mom is too important. She needs me now to help clear the path that she must travel again and keep the faith and hope. For my dad, my sisters and most of all my daughters. My sweet girls who live to be with my mom. My mom who lives to be part of their lives and keeps them safe and happy for us while we work. Deep breath, prayers, moments and reveling in the everyday.  And so she waits for news but not alone.

                                                The Golden Spoons


  1. I am so very sorry to hear this sad news about your mom, Stephanie. My heart aches for you and for what you and your mom and family are going through. My heart has been down a similar path. I am 55 and it was only a little over a year ago when I stood at my mom's bedside and felt like that scared little girl that you mentioned. Great mom's are irreplaceable. I know and I will pray for yours and be hoping that her test results bring you all some much-needed relief - that the prognosis will be a good one. God bless!

  2. I am so sorry, Stephanie! My mom has battled breast cancer as well and I remember how I feel when she told me the diagnosis. Fortunately, hers was minor and, with very little treatment, she was healthy again. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers in hopes that your mom will have the same outcome.

    1. Lisa and Marcia -Thank you both for your thoughts and kind words. We are hoping for the very best!

  3. I am so sorry for this difficult news, and wish you and your family the best. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Thank you for sharing this personal post at the Manic Mondays blog hop... hopefully your words can make someone else going through something difficult feel less alone. Wishing you all the best.

  4. I hope a day comes when we can eradicate cancer for good! Prayers for your mother and family! I cannot imagine what you all are going through...

  5. I'm so sorry to read this about your mom. My mother had a breast cancer scare when I was in my teens and I remember how helpless I felt while we waited to hear the results. Thoughts and prayers for her and your family as you navigate through this.

  6. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. What difficult news to received. She sounds like an amazingly strong woman and this is a beautiful tribute to her and to the fact that you have an amazing family. I'm so glad she isn't alone through this. Thoughts and prayers sent your way.

  7. I am so sorry to hear about this! Cancer is such a terrible disease and I can completely relate to you on such a personal level because my mother also has cancer - leukemia to be exact. Ugh. I am happy to know that she is surrounded by such a beautiful and strong group of women to help her through this. Be strong for one another and never lose faith. If there is anything I can do for your family, please let me know!

  8. I'm so sorry, I can't possibly try to tell you I understand although we've had a few cancer scares with my other halves family. Although I too well know the shock and sadness that comes with an unwanted diagnosis. All my wishes and hopes are with your Mum and know she's very lucky to have you and you her.